Cher Lloyd - With Ur Love

Even as I'm writing this, I worry that Cher Lloyd's frankly pathetic attempts at music are occupying far too much space in the music press. But then her sole purpose in the media has always been to be one of those 'marmite' celebrities (except in this case, I doubt that there are very many people who do actually fall into the love category rather than wanting to tear their ears off every time one of her songs plays); we are sickeningly fascinated by her and I think theres a small part in all of us that still hopes that one day she might make a good song so that we might understand how she ever made it into mainstream music in the first place. Sadly, 'With Ur Love' which guests 'Cooler Than Me' Mike Posner, is not going to be that song. It opens with a pointless refrain of Cher singing "du du dumb dumb" in a childish voice which misses cute altogether and just strikes at highly annoying instead. Not to mention if you thought 'Swagger Jagger' sounded like a nursery rhyme, this latest single could easily have sampled a cbeebies theme tune, leaving me wondering both what other monstrous "songs" (if that is the appropriate word) are waiting for us on the rest of her upcoming album and also whether or not Cher is actually a six year old in disguise. There's less of her trademark rapping on this track as Lloyd attempts to show a softer side, although her aggressive style of trying to appear 'gangsta' and cool still remains which makes this would be romantic song similar to saying "I love you" to someone whilst you punch them repeatedly in the face. Which would still be preferable to actually listening to the song. It also features genius lyrics such as "You've got a hard shell but the middles so yummy" which I'm sure is complementary if you're a creme egg. I'm quite sure, that if I had the time I could write an entire book on why this song just gets everything wrong and more horrifyingly, people would probably read it too, but there is only so much time I can give to Cher Lloyd or else I'd lose my faith in music altogether. Now I normally try to be quite open minded about music and not get caught up in the elitism of it; I can appreciate brat-pop as much as the next person and because of that I'm still hoping, that one day, she will produce a song that will make me finally realise why anyone would buy her so called music but in the meantime 'With Ur Love' with its twee and catchy chorus (but in the way that will make you want to shoot yourself in the head when you find yourself humming it inadvertently not in the way that it'll be a cute, guilty pleasure) just doesn't cut it for me.